Just for laughs

Topics in english about Lourdes
Répondre
Celia
Messages : 1957
Enregistré le : 02 janvier 2010, 00:19
Localisation : Canada
Contact :

Just for laughs

Message par Celia »

Received this today by email:


LIFE

Summary of Life

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats..
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.



GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.. ..
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional..
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.


THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.


SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . .. having a driver's license.
At age 35 success is . .. . .having money.
At age 50 success is . . having money.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . .. . having friends.
At age 80 success is . .. . not piddling in your pants.


Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way;
BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.

marmotte
Messages : 1147
Enregistré le : 07 décembre 2009, 23:01
Localisation : Partout.

Re: Just for laughs

Message par marmotte »

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :thumbup: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Elle a dit OUI!
Celia
Messages : 1957
Enregistré le : 02 janvier 2010, 00:19
Localisation : Canada
Contact :

Re: Just for laughs

Message par Celia »

Another one. Don't know if it's true or if it's just a joke, but it's worth reading it. Have a good laugh!
================================
FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY


In Florida , an atheist created a case against the upcoming Easter and Passover Holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians and Jews for observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days.

The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, "Case dismissed!"

The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your Honor, How can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays."

The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant."

The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists."

The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God'. Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that, if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned."
You have to love a Judge that knows his scripture!
Heidi
Messages : 2505
Enregistré le : 04 décembre 2009, 15:51
Localisation : Lorraine
Contact :

Re: Just for laughs

Message par Heidi »

:clap:
Catherine
Messages : 2726
Enregistré le : 28 janvier 2010, 21:27

Re: Just for laughs

Message par Catherine »

:ghee: ;) :D Incroyable, mais c'est trop drôle.
Une toute petite lumière et beaucoup d’Amour suffiront parfois pour accomplir des miracles".
Marilyn
Messages : 53
Enregistré le : 31 janvier 2010, 14:43

Re: Just for laughs

Message par Marilyn »

whether its a joke or true, for sure there's a lesson behind it, good one and thanks for sharing!!
Celia a écrit :Another one. Don't know if it's true or if it's just a joke, but it's worth reading it. Have a good laugh!
================================
FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY


In Florida , an atheist created a case against the upcoming Easter and Passover Holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians and Jews for observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days.

The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, "Case dismissed!"

The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your Honor, How can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays."

The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant."

The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists."

The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God'. Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that, if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned."
You have to love a Judge that knows his scripture!
Celia
Messages : 1957
Enregistré le : 02 janvier 2010, 00:19
Localisation : Canada
Contact :

Re: Just for laughs

Message par Celia »

:lol: :super:
Celia
Messages : 1957
Enregistré le : 02 janvier 2010, 00:19
Localisation : Canada
Contact :

Re: Just for laughs

Message par Celia »

Once again, emailed jokes:

DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.

Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin.

Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.

The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said:

'Glory be unto the Father, and unto the Son, and into the hole he goes.'

BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.

'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.
'What have you got there, dear?'
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered,

'I think it's Adam's underwear!'
Répondre